Oh, to stop that mind chatter

If you are like so many of us with a mind that never rests, you are well familiar with your brain going into overdrive, particularly if life is throwing you a few challenges.

It can be tricky going back to sleep at 4 o’clock in the morning after an unexpected tax bill, or a medical expense leaves you struggling for money. Equally, it can be tough to concentrate during that Zoom conference if your children are having a hard time at school. Worries about office politics or an unhappy boss make it impossible being fully present for your family during Sunday play time.

On top of that, multiple world crises added their bit to our inner narrative: war is back in Europe, terrorism in the middle east, the climate of the world seems to be warming up ever faster and the economy may go into recession.

All the problems are real and valid, yet sleepless nights don’t help one little bit. Worrying doesn’t solve tomorrow’s problems but takes the energy out of today.

But we know all that and still we can’t help it.

Fight, Flight, Freeze

The Fight, Flight, Freeze response was first described by the American psychologist Walter Bradford Cannon as the natural response of animals (and humans) to perceived danger. Hormones such as adrenalin are released into the body to induce a state of heightened alerts and increase chance of survival against a predator. Whilst helpful against real, short-term dangers, such stress response has absolutely no benefit for the worries described before. (Cannon, 1915)

Meditation and mindfulness exercises are recommended to deal with such anxieties and worries. Exercises can include deep breathing, concentrating on sensory perceptions, repeating a mantra, yoga, journaling and many more.

For me, all of that is very difficult. My mind wanders off, my skin itches, joints ache during mediation and the silence only makes the chatter in my brain louder. Sounds familiar?

So, what could we do?

This weekend I struggled with my mind after a tough week and some disappointment. My brain was busy repeating unproductive thoughts, and my inner candle was not burning very brightly. Luckily, nature threw me a lifeline: It was a beautiful autumn day with a good breeze, and I managed to find enough energy to take my little sailing dinghy out on the lake.

Then the magic happened - as it always does for me when I am sailing. My mind shut up: Concentrating on the wind, the sail, the helm was enough to forget everything. Problems stayed ashore, I was in the Here and Now, nothing else mattered. After only an hour on the water, I came back calm and re-energised with a smile on my face.

A State of Flow

In positive psychology, the state I experienced on the lake is called a flow state “in which a person performing some activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energised focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.”

Flow is used as a coping skill for stress and anxiety, when we are pursuing a form of leisure (or work) that matches our skill set and which makes us so involved that nothing else matters. “Flow is characterized by great absorption, fulfillment, and skill during which temporal concerns (time, food, ego-self etc) are typically ignored” (Csíkszentmihályi, 1970).

Now, this is neither new, nor surprising: Great statesmen, for example, always pursued hobbies and passions. Winston Churchill built a brick wall during World War 2, Teddy Roosevelt found inner peace bird watching and the Dalai Lama repairs vintage mechanical wrist watches. Apparently, such focused activities helped them to reach flow just as sailing does for me.

What activity makes your heart sing and reach a state of meditative bliss? It’s definitely a worthwhile quest to find out that elusive passion that makes you forget time and space and re-energize in an instant. Not just because its fun, but because it helps you deal with stress and anxiety.

Share in the comments, what stops your mind chatter. Perhaps your passion can be an inspiration for others?

Cannon, William Bradford (1915). Bodily Changes in Pain, Hunger, Fear and Rage: An Account of Recent Researches into the Function of Emotional Excitement, New York, NY: D Appleton & Company.

Csikszentmihalyi, Mihaly (1975). Beyond Boredom and Anxiety: Experiencing Flow in Work and Play, San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass.